20 October 2011

currently

I keep listening to this one by Joanna Newsom.

 

Does Not Suffice:

I will pack all my pretty dresses
I will box up my high-heeled shoes
A sparkling ring for every finger
I'll put away and hide from view

Coats of boucle, jacquard and cashmere
Cartouche and tweed, all silver-shot
And everything that could remind you
Of how easy I was not

I'll tuck away my gilded buttons
I'll bind my silks in shapeless bales
Wrap it all up in reams o' tissue
And then I'll kiss you sweet farewell

You saw me rise to our occasion
And so deny the evidence
'Caused me to burn and twist and grimace against you
Like something caught on a barbed wire fence

Now you can see me fall back here redoubled
Full bewildered and amazed
I have gotten into some terrible trouble
Beneath your blank and rinsing gaze

It does not suffice for you to say I am a sweet girl
Or to say you hate to see me sad because of you
It does not suffice to merely lie beside each other
As those who love each other do

I picture you rising up in the morning
Stretching out on your boundless bed
Beating a clear path to the shower
Scouring yourself red

The tap of hangers swaying in the closet
Unburdened hooks and empty drawers
And everywhere I tried to love you
Is yours again and only yours


La-la-la-la...


For a while, I felt like she was singing the song I could not sing. In some ways, I still feel that way, but I also love how she strings these sounds, textures, and feelings together like beads onto a thread. Or packs them a way into a box. Or leaves them hanging next to each other in the cold, lofty air.

1 comment:

Marie said...

Beautiful description. You are a poet.