29 December 2008

Clicking My Heels

There's no place like home,
There's no place like home,
There's no place like home.

I'm feeling a little homesick. Odd- considering I am at home, or rather my parent's house in Illinois. It was as cold as the south pole last week and then Boxing Day turned out to be like a day on the beach: 66 degrees. I spent the morning on the porch in my pajamas teaching my family various yoga positions.

Warrior 1....breathe....chair.....downward facing dog.....cobra.....breathe
It was lovely.

However, I can't deal with this inconsistency - the weather and the customs my family has chosen to disregard and abandon like church, health, friends.
Being here makes me want to go to home - Provo. My friends are there along with my work and school. My center of gravity is in Provo. I can safely make plans there and swing the pendulum far east or far west but still land safely in Provo in the arms of my friends.

I've switched my blog around a little bit and changed the picture. That is a picture I took in August on the way to the Pali lookout on Oahu. Notice how the smokey clouds hang low on the rifted cliff side. It is breathtaking. Waterfalls often form on this mountainside because of the way the ridges cut deep into the face of the mountain. When I'm asked where I am from, I respond with Hawaii. Although I can't go 'home' anymore to Hawaii, it still has a piece of my heart.

I get on a plane in about twelve hours heading for Salt Lake City. I can't wait. I have absolutely no hesitation with leaving my parent's house and going home to my roommates.

....child's pose....relax....breathe......

14 December 2008

The First Christmas Sledders

Dear All,
Happy Snow of the Season!
The truth is I don't like the snow very much unless it is falling in heavy, thick chunks and I'm snuggled up to a fireplace or a man. But I'm learning to adapt. I love walking in the snow arm in arm with my roommates or sledding.
I went sledding for the first time early this morning.... say about 1 - 4 a.m. It was the most fun I could have in the misery of winter. I was with good friends who know how to have a good time. I wrote a poem about the whole experience:

Sledding is fun.
You can do it without the sun.
You can be anything you want-
a jockey or a jugant.
Don't forget your snowshoes,
your gloves, mittens, a sled or two,
pants to keep you warm and snug,
a snowbunny to hold you in a great big hug.
When you have all these things
you're ready for a Christmas slide.
Grip the handles on the side,
Don't look back or you may die.
You may realize some things on this ride:
1) that camels slip and slide
2) rolling picks up more speed
3) standing could very well make you bleed
4th and last on this winter adventure,
that friends become so forgiving
when you steamroll their limbs and almost cease their living.
But when you help each other stand
and prepare for the next jockey, 2 man,
you'll learn that lungs and throats never felt so raw
than when you flew down the hillside
in joyful awe.
'A camel' was the name of one our maneuvers on the sled. It consisted of someone on all fours and two people on their back. Yea we're dangerous.

Anyway, it was one of the funnest nights and I look forward to more of them.

30 November 2008

Thanks to Moab

I spent Thanksgiving in Moab. I went with Greg, Robbie, and Jessica from Vancouver. It was a one-of-a-kind Thanksgiving. Hopefully I will have another like it one day, perhaps with my future family, but this past week's events will not be forgotten.
We made a lot of plans. After checking into our Hostel, we went to a Thai restaurant for dinner and discussed our plans. We were going to hike Arches National Park and see all the Arches,

http://www.travelinformation.com/uploads/57--1_th-Moab,-UT-Delicate-Arch.jpgespecially Delicate Arch.

I have faint, fond memories of the arches. I am under the impression that I went there once with my mum and brother. When I was little, my mum took us on a road trip from Washington state to Alabama to meet up with my dad before we flew overseas. We saw some of the natural wonders: the Grand Canyon, the arches, and the life-size, plastic dinosaur I feared would pee on me at the gas station. Anyway, this trip reminded me of that chapter of my life when my life was very much ruled by my mum's escape to the road and her preference for the Eagles, Hell Freezes Over.
Thanksgiving began with the hike to Mecca. I like to refer to this Holy hike as Mecca because it required a lot of sacrifice on my part. I sacrificed my friends, family, comfort, warmth, and health for it. Those make it sound like this trip wasn't worth it, but...let me get there.
It rained relentlessly everyday in Moab, or in other words, the desert. I wasn't prepared for this phenomenon: no raincoat, boots, or poncho. But my good friend, Greg lent me his poncho and we kept hiking. I wasn't prepared for the hostel we were staying in. I've stayed in hostels before. They always make for great, life-changing stories, and crazy cool people. This one was no exception. A wheezy hippie lady cleaned the hostel in exchange to live there. Her greatest struggle I learned quickly was getting tenants to recycle, she was very worried about the tenants using her pink-handled cooking pots for anything other than vegetarian, and she serenanded everyone out of their morning dreams with very zen yoga music...Every morning. Kelly was one-of-a-kind

I respected her.

She also winked a lot to many people which is a skill I've been mastering since summer.
So yes I wasn't prepared to meet my alter-ego at lazy lizard hosel.
Another very important point in this trip was making new friends. I take pride in the fact that I have great name-memory. Someone can tell me their name once and I will remember it - I think I'm better at names than faces. The thing is, we met a group of men from Mumbai, INDIA at Elegant Arch and they have veryyyyy different names. It might be easier for me to say what their names sounded like, i.e.: garage (gaRAJ), winslow (weenSLOW), and shiznit (or rather SHEEZnit or shaNEEZ) I'm really not trying to make fun. They were great individuals. I just think they would honestly respond if I attempted to say their names. Anyway, I asked them if they were affected by the recent attacks in Mumbai and most got a hold of their friends and family and were able to say all was well except one. Percush (perhaps that his correct name) had one friend who was fatally injured.


This was heart wrenching. Those events seem so distant to me, just like the war in Iraq. I know awful things are happening but I have no immediate tie to them, so the severity of the moment is out of context and out of reach for me. However, this man standing right in front of me had a friend fall victim to the rage and violence half-way across the world. Those attacks are more real to me now for this reason and the fact that my best friend, Ashy Belle is in India at this very moment and will be flying out of Mumbai in a month. My prayers are now saturated with words of peace and hope for every country.
This trip was special to me. I hesitated in making the decision to go, but I decided it would be worth it. I became better friends with Greg and Robbie who I care about so much and I know they care about me. I had a special moment with Greg who took me to this very special place, it wasn't the temple but it was a ceremonial ring of some other kind. We hiked up the side of a mountain and wrote secret special messages to hikers and explorers of the past, present and future. From this experience, I learned to never pass up an opportunity to do something with a friend you will probably not have another chance to do. I, also, made a new friend, Jessica Lynn. She's slow at getting jokes but quick with u-turns. I really like her. She gave me great advice and great hope for the future. She was a sweetheart.
I'll never forget this joke she told:

What element formula can be found on all fire hydrants?

Can you dig it?

Thank you thank you I love Thankyou Day!

09 November 2008

November Weather. Forever Friends. Trespassing on Mayor's property.

I had the best day of the season today. Amber, aka tAMBERine, and best boyfriend Tyson took me to the mountain in Pleasant Grove and took pictures. We met the cOOOlest kids in a field of gravel playing paintball. We were helping them in the war effort and when Tyson was ready to attack to defend their side he found himself empty handed: no gun. Best moment ever was: one of the boys said, "Here!" and threw him an imaginary gun.

After the mountain, the paintball, the barefeet, the nature we got in the car and took the backstreets home. We drove by the most wondrous house - seriously a big kid playground with a tree house, a seesaw, a greenhouse, a vicious dog, a rusty bike and pumpkins.

The house turned out to belong to the mayor of Lindon. Sorry Mayor for trespassing but we couldn't live with ourselves if we passed up the most memorable, worthwhile place to play in all of Utah. A thousand thank yous.

All in all, it was a really nice day.

25 October 2008


Ok i did it. I did it even though I thought I wasn't going to make it - certain and hell bent on failure.
I feel how I felt the moment I crossed the finish line of my triathlon: Like i was going to vomit. But then two minutes later the endorphins were rushing and I felt incredible. Not the faintest glimpse of that awful sickly feeling any longer.
It also helped that my best friends were with me through the whole triathlon : cheering me on, screaming my name, trusting me to make it to the finish line. Not to mention insisting that I looked hott running in all my salty, chloriney glory. I couldn't have done it without them.
Now I've crossed the finish line and I'm standing on the other side with my best friends, half of a bagel, complex carbs never tasted so good, my custom-made banner: Red Alert, and a trophy of inner victory.
That is my weekend so far. I took a mid-term, I took a quiz, the last of 5 for the week [perhaps the swim and excruciating bike ride] and then I went to work. at 2 jobs. [the long, long, homeRUN] and then I spent the night with my friends [the blessed endorphins]. They bring me back, keep me going, make me smile.

I am so lucky.

This week I made a fortune teller. I don't think I ever made one in elementary school. But don't worry - I definitely made up for it the other night. It is so dope. The fortunes pertain to my roommates and the wonderful, quirky things I think define some of their personality. I don't know what could totally encompass them; their personalities are HUGE.

Today my i-google fortune cookie said "Music, travel and people define my nature." As impersonal and uninformed and misleading and unreliable and dumb as a webtastic virutally unrealistic fortune cookie is, I'm going to take this one to heart. I think I would add a few things - Jesus, food, and romance.

And there it is.

15 October 2008

Czech it! Czech it!

Hola, me llamo rojo.
Ciao, Mi chiama rosso.
Ahoi, krasna.
Gehrmez if we were in Iraq.
Ich heisse rot.
I can say name in a few languages.
Foreign languages are a subject I don't think I'll ever get tired of. If I could major in every foreign language at BYU, I would. All I really want to do in school is learn languages then travel from country to country and make it on my own. Actually, I would not like to travel to by myself, I'd like someone to be there with me. The ideal travel buddy system would include someone map savvy and with any sense of direction while I stand around making friends with the locals in the native language. Also, this person would have to love food, mostly baked goods, because we would be hitting up every bakery in the town.

I have fond memories of traveling with my family. My dad was in the Air Force so we were able to live overseas and see some of the prettiest things in Europe. We've been pick-pocketed by gypsies on a train in Rome, we've been bumped by a scooter near the Arc d'Triumph, we've eaten french fries with mayonnaise and ketchup in Vienna, we've celebrated Christmas in Germany under the tallest snow-covered roof tops, and we've called Aunty Birgit from the first level of the Eiffel Tower. Let's not mention the autobahn where dad nearly killed us by not competing with the racing Ferraris.

On these long road trips Nate and I sat in the back seat making videos on how to ease the discomfort of road tripping. One such video addressed the problem of what to do with used kleenexes and having no where to dispose of them. In an effort to entertain his baby sister, the simple solution to this dilemma was to just eat it. just eat it. We still have that on film somewhere.

Venice was one of my favorite places we ever went. It was stunning. There were gondolas passing underneath the bridges and walkways which took us to the tiny stores selling the daintiest lace and prettiest charm bracelets (which would later be stolen from our home in Prada by gypsies which I would never be bitter about because how many people in Provo can say they've been gypsy-robbed)

Anyway, the purpose of this reflection I think is to remind myself that I have an archive of good memories, pictures, and quality time to think of when everything around me gets too overwhelming. like having absolutely no money. Instead of being reminded of deadlines and midterms and wheaties for every meal, I'm going to think of the little town of Nove where I bought ceramic pears and apples to paint with my neighbor Sabrina who taught me how to make dandelion jewelry with buds from Signora's garden and afterwards being offered wine at nine years old from said Signora.

Who cares about money when you have memories.

30 September 2008

To Your Thoughtfulness and Love

If my words make you think,
then I have achieved it.
If my words make you laugh,
then I have succeeded.
If my words make you cry,
I hope it's not out of remorse.
I hope I only bring you joy
and aid you to lift up your voice.

If my words can make you smile,
then that is when I can rejoice.

Now let me go and find those words.
They are somewhere in a book.
They are thoughtfully written down on paper.
They are in a mother's look.
They are somewhere I must think and ponder,
a place where I should linger longer:
down on my knees
a grove of trees
or a friend's kitchen table.
These places open up my mind,
make room for words to enter.
If I know where to find them,
why am I still sitting centered?

I better now start walking centered.
roaming the wide latitudes
I'll be brave from ocean to ocean,
hearing words of every emotion.
I'll seek out the longitudes
of this earth on tilt
from high to low,
from pole to pole
I'll be inspired by the multitudes.

Now I'm listening,
Now I'm learning
all for the yearning
to make you smile.

25 September 2008

very important persons

These are my friends. I adore them. They are people that change my life.
They make me feel like a special person.

18 September 2008

it's hard to take risks with a pessimist

Sometimes when I think of how insignificant I must be according to all the laws of the universES, which are plural because I believe God made innumerable creations, I say to myself "ok well I exist, what are you going to do about it?" I guess that question is addressed to God and myself.
My friend slapped me on the leg and I re-focused on my place. Here in my place.

And indeed I do exist.
I think I exist for a few specific reasons. I exist to give hugs. I love holding people and being held. It is such a secure feeling. I'm so glad our arms are long enough to wrap around each other and squeeeeezzze.
I exist to dance around and be carefree. I like spreading this infection - it makes people laugh a little at least.
I exist to learn languages so I can travel, meet new people, hear their stories, really hear them then go home and spread the word.
I exist to bake. Everyone needs coconut macaroons and brownies to have a well-balanced life experience.
I exist to be a listener. I exist to walk like a llama. I exist to kiss. and tell. But tell for the sake of speaking, expressing just how damn great it was and how happy you made me feel.

We all exist for each other as far as I'm concerned.